Dear Professor Clackamas,
I’m a broke college student who needs some java. Where is the best place to go on Campus?
-Undercaffeinated

Well, Undercaffeinated, that’s a good question. While my expertise in coffee ranges from how to make instant coffee taste less horrible to getting the most out of my Starbucks, I’m well versed in the coffee situation at Clackamas Community College.

Currently the coffee situation is just a little bit less than deplorable.

One option is the bookstore. While their stock of Cup O’ Noodles is admirable, their coffee is the same machine you find at a gas station. If gulping down lukewarm sludge that you’re concerned will give you diabetes is your idea of a good time, I admire you for it. At $1.50 for a small, $1.75 for a medium and $2 for a large, it’s easy, cheap and right there. They have Butterfinger, mocha or regular black coffee or tea, if that suits your fancy.

Your second, slightly more desirable option is the Cougar Cafe in the cafeteria. With options similar to a coffee shop, it’s your best bet on campus. Personally I’d rather stick my head in a cougar’s mouth than trust the water in the McLoughlin building. Prices range from $1.70 to over $4 with actual espresso machines.

Sincerely and always irritated,
Professor Clackamas